AHHHH…PARADISE…not as advertised

Back to work in the middle of week two and everything as returned to a state of raw madness as there are only about 11 working days in the entire month of November and we just HAVE to do two months worth of stuff during this time.

This includes a regimental run, a regimental change of command, the Marine Corps Ball, a Combat Fitness Test, turning in equipment issued for the deployment, administrative audits, shots, dental appointments, a regimental PME (professional military education), promotions, NJPs, the rifle range, redoing emergency data sheets for families, platoon commander notebooks for all new Marines.

Oh did I mention that 357 Marines were added to my company today? Everyone that is getting out or transferring to other units were dropped in my lap to keep track of. This puts me at 580 strong. I even get all the clowns with administrative and legal issues. Tomorrow in fact I have four going to NJP that I didn't have yesterday. Hooray!

On top of all this I have to execute orders shortly and have to check out within the 11 days of work going on this month. How are there only 11(approximate) working days? Well we have the Veteran's Day holiday, Thanksgiving, and the beginning of our post deployment leave block.
So what I'm really saying is forgive me for my tardiness in not posting since my return. It may sound crazy but sometimes getting shot at is simpler and less stressful than being in garrison.

America's 1stSgt

E.T. Counseling

Mike is still regrouping in tropical paradise; poor, unfortunate, half-day working jarhead. My heart bleeds. Really. But he did leave a few pieces in the can for your reading entertainment and reminded me of such last night in his typical Burke-like manner.

Gotta love 'em. For his saftey and my sanity. ;o) Hope.

Every wonder if they have 1stSgts in space?
Below is a counseling sheet I imagine would have been written by E.T.’s 1stSgt if he had one. And yes they tend to be written by 1stSgts and signed by Commanding Officers. Go figure.
I was inspired by a writing assignment I saw surfing the web:
Whilst visiting an alien world to collect plant samples, one of your crew ran afoul of the local sentient life, forcing you to cut short the mission and then subsequently mount a rescue attempt to retrieve said crew member. Write the discipline report for the crew member, whom the local sentients labeled as E.T.

So without further ado…

ADMINISTRATIVE REMARKS ICO RECENT TACTICAL RECOVERY OF MISSING CREWMAN

You are hereby counseled this date that you are eligible but not recommended for promotion this period due to a physical fitness deficiency directly resulting in your near capture by a primitive species.

This is your third counseling concerning your complacency and lackadaisical attitude toward your duties as Imperial Reconnaissance Sample Collector while conducting a planet-side mission performing preliminary Collections and Observation Operations in support of proposed future invasion by Grand Imperial Armed Forces. You also have been previously counseled that you exceed the weight standards as dictated by the Grand Imperial Medical Administration and have not met acceptable physical capability requirements.

During your recent reconnaissance mission you violated protocol in that you wandered further than 25 meters away from your sample collection team. When the mission was compromised by counter reconnaissance forces your lack of physical fitness resulted in your failure to promptly make liftoff and endangered the rest of your team. Your subsequent execution of the evasion plan was laughable at best and violated numerous articles of the Imperial Code of War. These include unauthorized absence; open communications on an unencrypted channel; violation of light discipline; conduct unbecoming an Imperial Servant; and you even managed to somehow gain weight, further violating the Bodyweight Composition Protocols.

It is forecast by the Imperial Operations and Invasion Administration that your questionable conduct has given the impression that the Grand Imperial Armed Forces are a troop of waddling, obese, space penguins (Ea-Tee in the primitive dialect) and are incapable of glorious conquest. Further ramifications of your irresponsible behavior have yet to be calculated and are preempting the invasion indefinitely.

You are required to immediately report to the Imperial Chastiser upon conclusion of this counseling.

Signed,Grand Imperial Commander Throm G.H.

A.W.O.L: A Warrior on Liberty

Lounging at a resort hotel on Maui at the moment.

Decompression, relaxation, and multiple cups of joseph are all in order.

I have no interest in making any decisions, thinking, or anything resembling taking responsibility for myself or anyone else. Waiters and staff are making all decisions for me:
"Sir, would you like to try our…"
"Yes, I would."
Still getting over the time difference. Was a walking corpse early last night and crashed around 9pm. Instantly awake at 1am and finally crawled out of the rack at 03. Breakfast doesn't start until 0630. Man! It will take a couple more days to transform back into something resembling a human being. In the meantime I will still appear as some kind of specter roaming the grounds of the resort at odd hours. Oh well, I guess I'll do some pushups.

Will also take a stab at recounting the joyous adventure which was our 3 to 4 day flight home and hope to post that soon.

Thanks for the welcome home gang!

America's 1stSgt

More on Mike and his Marines

Janna, a wife of a 3/3 Marine, gave me this heads up.

More to follow as I get the info.

Hope

http://www.wcsh6.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=110159

http://www.dailypaul.com/node/111318

http://in.news.yahoo.com/48/20091020/804/tnl-flight-with-marines-takes-off-finall.html

http://blog.taragana.com/n/india-clears-grounded-chartered-us-marine-plane-199162/

Home

According to a news station in Hawaii, America's Battalion touched down in Oahu at about 1130 this morning.

Here's the link.
Looks like they are home.

http://kgmb9.com/main/content/view/22083/40/

-hope

Mystery of the ‘red things’ solved!

Remember this? Mike wanted to take care of things for all of you who were so worked up about the "Red Thing". I should have posted this sooner and have been reminded in a very Burke like manner not unlike the composition you see here above...it's kind of fitting actually...

signed,
America's 1st Handler

They were promotion warrants to Corporal for Cpl Fox, a highly deadly administrative expert…

…and for Cpl Wahlgren, a chemically, biologically, radiologically, nuclear enhanced fighting machine.

Mystery solved. Everyone satisfied now?

Out of Dodge

“Can you believe you are leaving soon?” This is the question that is continually asked me by family and friends who know we are about to disembark back to planet earth shortly.

The answer to that question is; no I don’t. I will not believe I am actually leaving until the plane is wheels up and is in another time zone. Why? Because the potential for something to go wrong always hovers about menacingly. If you recall our trip here was an interesting experience and merely getting on a plane is no guarantee that bird will take off. Consider how many stories we’ve heard in the past about commercial planes being stranded on runways and passengers not allowed off the plane?

So the next few days will be a litany of checking, checking, rechecking, double-tapping, following through, and reconfirming things like manifests, equipment density lists, flight times, room inspections, personnel accountability, movement from our current living area to a temporary one, movement from that area to the flight line, moving all our stuff to customs, enduring customs (which can’t be as bad as actually being a customs agent I am sure).

Looking ahead at my schedule I see that about ten hours before our flight we will be receiving our customs brief and then doing a slow, agonizing sea bag drag through customs and then wait around the rest of our lives for our flight. So if our flight were to take off at 10 am we would be getting our customs brief at midnight (yes, we would actually do it that way) where we would be informed that yes, we can bring our machine gun back to the USA but not that double headed battle axe. Real bummer.

On top of it all everything is subject to change at no notice.

I will, of course, be recounting this experience in morbid detail so you can all share in it.

Semper Fi!

America’s 1stSgt