Been having some computer issues of late and I’m not even able to view the Castra Praetoria page from my location. So I finally get around to writing a post and my handler sends me the comments posted by everyone in an e-mail. I respond in kind, but it can get frustrating since I wish I could just see it all for myself.
A day or so goes by and my handler and I have a conversation that goes like this:
Subject: CP Comments
America’s 1stSgt: “Any update on this front?”
America’s Handler: “No, B, but I’m sure your readers are saying the same thing.” The venomous sarcasm of her response drips off the ice cold blade of impatience as it casually impales my innocent question.
America’s 1stSgt: “Just asking. Geez! Not like there isn’t a war on.”
(I mean really; it’s not like I don’t have a job or anything. I dab at my nose with a sleeve just to make sure it’s not bleeding from the shot I just took.)
America’s Handler:"That was said so sweetly. Whatever will you do when you get out of the Corps and there is no war on?”
America’s 1stSgt: “I will write!”
America’s Handler: “Sure, because we both know you never procrastinate.”
America’s 1stSgt: “I’ve never taken the time to look that word up.”
After this the conversation just devolved into false accusations of sloth and the questionable origin of my genetic background. I threw a half eaten banana in the trash at once.
So, sufficiently chastised, I hope to convey to everyone that I will attempt to be more prompt with tales of high adventure! Okay, maybe not high adventure, but with things that are going on around picturesque Al Asad. I did get some good advice from David Stanford over at Doonesbury’s The Sandbox and hope to apply it.
And I’ll try not to be to grumpy about the fact that this deployment isn’t as shooty as our last one.
Semper Fi,
America’s 1stSgt
The lie spreads 'round the world
49 minutes ago
14 comments:
So we can look forward to long, involved missives then? ;)
Top,
I assume that the S-6 has all blog sites blocked so you's guys can't blog and take up bandwhatever.
Or, did you spill coffee on your lap top?
1st Sgt, I think you may have painted yourself into a corner with your statement that this deployment is not as "shooty" as the last... if said you were dodging mortars and facing a barrage of small-arms fire regularly and your life was constantly in peril America's Handler might be more sympathetic and not expected regular posts from you. Just sayin' ;)
What? You mean your stories are all real, and you really ARE deployed overseas? Wow. I just thought you were one creative blogger. *grin*
I really can't believe you take crap like that from Hope.
When you get back to the States, I sincerely hope you will resolve that situation.
Ha!!!
Now that you have a fresh supply of MM you will have the energy to post more exciting stories of paper shuffling, exercising and time management. If you want to get shot at keep badmouthing and accusing your handler. Your nose bleed will be nothing. :-)
Akelamalu, long involved missives? No. Short, staccato bursts of roguish commentary? More likely.
CI Roller, more like the G-6. They are on Mount Olympus just on the left. I ensure the coffee stays spilled on govt computers by keeping my stuff in the can.
Red, because this deployment for me is not as shooty the opportunity for administrative madness and other drama has filled the void. Its funny when you consider that I joined the Corps because I wasn't interested in a desk job. What the heck happened?
And trust me; I got in more trouble when I was getting shot at and not writing than now. Think about it.
Songbird, I think that was a compliment?
Southern, you really have no idea. People often think I am a little bit of an insensitive knuckle-dragger when it comes to Hope. Truth is, I'm the victim here!
Coffee, you know, I told Hope that you guys would totally be on her side and she didn't believe me.
I will try to ensure your continued survival...even though I've gone to my own sort of sandbox, or rockbox or something...
A marine should not be terminated by siblingcide.
Brownies on the other hand, I can no longer protect from ravenous trolls.
Sorry, bro.
America's 1st, oh, believe me. I have no doubt that you are the victim.
I would NEVER diss a Marine. I'm not stupid!
Is it just your blog, or others as well?
Anyway, yes, WRITE!
Yes, please write more!
Also, what hakama-wearing martial art do you practice, 1st Sgt.? Kendo, aikido, iaido? I'm guilty of the first two, so I was just wondering...
Songbird, it's the internet; people have done stranger things.
Kanani, I just have well intentioned people in my corner who vigorously encourage me to post. I'm getting to it. Give me a break!
Saker, see comments above to Kanani. I train in a traditional Japanese martial system of shinkage. Unfortunately, most of what you find about it on the internet is pretty much bunk.
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