Some of the best lines I have ever heard were uttered right here in Iraq during deployment. I often kick myself for not actively writing many of these down as soon as I hear them. You really can’t make up some of the things you hear coming out of the human mouth.
A special prize goes to anyone who can figure out which one of these was spoken by America’s 1stSgt himself. Don’t be fooled, some of these sound like something I might say, but unfortunately, I can’t claim that I did.
“They’ll never have a space program until they learn to use toilet paper.”
“If it weren’t for Catholic school girls, we wouldn’t have Hooters.”
“The good thing about the Army being here is that they gym isn’t as crowded.”
(Referring to all the Army units coming in to replace their Marine counterparts so we can go kill Taliban.)
“They all should have been aborted.”
“These guys are clearly idiots.”
(The two statements above were made in reference to Americans it must be noted.)
“Can you hear me when I’m not talking?”
“I hear the word ‘roster’ and I just get pissed.”
(Rosters, and the ridiculous number of them that we have to maintain, could be the subject of its own post. And no, that was not a clue.)
“My whole day is occupied with looking out for the best interests of people other than myself.”
“The only way I ever want to come back to Iraq is to supervise the cleanup of the radioactive ash.”
“I tell you what, there ain’t nobody in Al Queda doin’ no 4 minute Fran.”
“Hope is not a COA (course of action).”
“Ain’t no sick call in the Taliban!”
"There is no problem that can't be solved by stepping on someone's neck."
"Brute force and ignorance will get the job done every time."
So, any takers?