Thursday, October 4, 2012

If America's SgtMaj moderated Presidential debates


America's SgtMaj as moderator:

"Gentlemen, if these become knife hands the debate will be over early."

 "You will have two minutes to speak." Loudly thunks tomahawk into moderator's desk for emphasis.  "Any questions?"

"Sir, your time is up...YOU'RE DONE! STOP TALKING WHILE I'M TALKING!"
 
"Gentlemen, what is it about two minutes you can't comprehend? No wonder politicians can't cut the deficit! I will NOT allow you to use time you do not have."

"Did someone mention cuts?"

"STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP! FREEZE CANDIDATE! FREEZE!"
 
"Talk over me one more ti... SON OF A...!" Takes the stage, heaves offending debater's podium overhead and smashes it to splinters. "WE WILL HAVE GOOD ORDER AND DISCIPLINE!"

Although any Presidential debate I moderate may not clear up any political issues,  a demonstration of Irish Judo is always in order. I suspect more broken furniture and flaming debris would add a little character to the proceedings.

Semper Fidelis!
America's SgtMaj


14 comments:

Anonymous said...

ha ha! I would have enjoyed watching you do this last night!

-Justin Dykman

CI-Roller Dude said...

A SGM,
Thank God we have humans who are not politicians. (I actually know a few and when they start talking, I have to remind them that I have the BS meter running).

That's why I'm voting for Alfred E. Newman. His motto: "What, me worry?"

CI-Roller Dude said...

A SGM,
Thank God we have humans who are not politicians. (I actually know a few and when they start talking, I have to remind them that I have the BS meter running).

That's why I'm voting for Alfred E. Newman. His motto: "What, me worry?"

Matt said...

I would pay decent money to watch that debate.

Lin Barker said...

I would also hook them up to polygraphs and tasers with 2 minute timers

Bookworm said...

Lin Barker: If we had "like" buttons for comments, I would have clicked "like" on your comment.

Ima Wurdibitsch said...

SgtMaj, you do realize that Big Sis now has you on a watch list, right?

ExAFCrewDog said...

Sergeant Major, I do like your style!

America's SgtMaj. said...

All, I appreciate the faith and support you have in me and my impartiality toward politicians.

Ima, list? My agenda is not political. I merely wish for good order and discipline.

OkieRover said...

We disciplined few will never be called to lead our country like this. Our citizens wouldn't understand moderation and discipline, they'd think the Japanese had taken over.

Anonymous said...

Please moderate the next debate. Oh, please please please!!!

MSgt B said...

Heh.

Just you wait until Biden and Ryan go at it.
Bound to be a chuckle-fest.

Leslie said...

Please moderate the next debate, it would be ..... WONDERFUL!!! Especially the part with a battle axe.....and flaming debris.

Bradley Otto said...

OMG I want to Laugh out loud I cant stop smiling! THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR INNER SELF.