Friday, February 22, 2013

Heard in the clear.

Another installment of great moments in spoken dialogue. All statements quoted here are accurate to the best of my knowledge.

Physical performance depends on a number of factors.  Some people who are otherwise great athletes never excel in a particular sport. Others just know when they are out of their league entirely:

  "Some people ice-skate. I call it butt-skate, with good reason."

It's a comfort to know when your prime concerns are shared by others:

 "That's my priority for today. As soon as I take care of some other priorities."

Drill weekends are an interesting event in the Reserves.  My only regret is I am only briefly able to make my influence felt on the battalion.  As the first day of a recent drill weekend wrapped up, the Road Warrior was playing on the TV in my office. The H&S Company Commander stuck his head in the door and saw what was on: "The game is on, why aren't you watching that?"

 America's SgtMaj: "No thanks, I prefer to watch dudes with mohawks shoot each other in the face."

As I was browsing through the command brief before said drill weekend...

America's SgtMaj: "I see the Intel is claiming there will be no degradation of ground operations due to weather. They are also forecasting scattered showers and temperatures ranging from 47 to 31 degrees. I guess there's no degradation of ground operations due to the fact they'll be indoors with the heat on."

The differences between men and women can and does fill volumes. Here's a small contribution.

Her: "Gosh honey! Is everything okay?"
Him: "Yeah, why?"
Her: "You just had this really intense look on your face."
Him: "Oh, I was just daydreaming about live bayonet training."

A woman's insight into a man's character is often staggeringly accurate.

Her: "I bet you made a great 12 year old. Was that your best year?"

Often, communication issues can be solved by trying to speak the other's language, or not.

Her: "Why does that rifle cost $2,500?"
Him: "Well honey, that brand is kind of like the Prada of gun manufacturers."
Her: " Ooooh! I get it...So if you get a $2,500 rifle I get a $2,500 hand bag right?"

Enjoy the weekend.

Semper Fidelis!
America's SgtMaj


Eric Stephens said...

Her: "I bet you made a great 12 year old. Was that your best year?"
I COL'd (Chuckled out loud) when I read that. Thank you for sharing it.

I was indeed a great 12 year old. I was going to be a professional athlete in 3 or 4 sports back then. I settled for being a US Marine and a grandfather.

I have only recently turned 15. I expect to be mentally 18 or 19 by the time I turn 70.

Cheers and Semper Fi.

Lin Barker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lin Barker said...

Absolutely, that's why she got her Mustang after I got my Harley.

CI-Roller Dude said...

I'm going to use that line about priorities at work.

Anonymous said...

Great move SGM. Really smooth not telling the CO that the $2,500 rifle needs a $3,000 telescope.

America's SgtMaj. said...

Eric, sadly it was probably most of our best years.

Lin, you're not helping anyone.

CI Roller, feel free. There's more where that came from.

Zail, shhhhhhh!