Friday, February 21, 2014

Things Your SgtMaj Hates: Geedunk!

I'm always horrified at seeing what Marines feed themselves. Left alone, a Marine will wake up at 07:00, drag on his cammies, and enjoy a breakfast of energy drinks and cigarettes before reporting to work at 07:30. That is no exaggeration.

On Camp Courtney, in Okinawa, the chow hall is right across the street from the barracks. Young Marines completely bypass it to pay for the garbage being dished out down the street at the Dunkin' Donuts and Burger King.  In Hawaii I used to watch with fascination from my office window as Marines paraded by with McDonald's bags three meals a day. Bleech!

Over the years I have gotten somewhat passionate about health and fitness among my troops. When I've inspected the barracks, I usually don't look for cleanliness (at this level I've got plenty of NCOs who do that). One of the things I look at is what kind of food the Marines keep in their rooms. Usually it's the kind of thing which makes mothers break out in a cold sweat and dentists leap for joy.

There is a wide range of trash consumed by Marines ranging from potato chips, cookies, candy, PB&J, ramen noodles, and all forms of processed baked goods like chocolate donut gems (ooohhhhhhh donut gems!).

America's SgtMaj reacts to pogey bait adrift.
Oddly, young Marines are also into working out in an attempt to get big and tough and otherwise look good naked. They supplement their physical training with hundreds of dollars of protein shakes, creatine suppositories, amino acids, glutamine, thermogenic metabolizers, and other mythological performance enhancers. I'm famous for picking up the odd container of mystery powder and asking the own what the ingredients were. Nine out of ten times the Marine has no idea what's in it. Sigh.

The troops reaction to my fury at geedunk has been interesting. In Okinawa, my Marines used to buy a dozen donuts every day and leave them out in the front office.  They would remain seductively untouched until I came in. Instead of eating any, I would castigate the donuts for being the disgusting kryptonite it was. In Bahrain, I came back from leave to find the staff had poured 26 pounds of candy into the drawers of my desk. For months afterward I'd find the odd Tootsie Roll or Smarties adrift in my office.

So watch it around America's SgtMaj with the junk food. It might not go the way you imagined it would.

Semper Fidelis!
America's SgtMaj


Eric Stephens said...

I guess we don't call it pogey-bait any more?
Pogues eat pogey-bait.

America's SgtMaj. said...

Eric did you read the caption to the picture?

Anonymous said...

I see Janna's deployment brownies weren't mentioned.

America's SgtMaj. said...

Walt, Janna's brownies in a jar do not count. On deployment anything and everything is fair game to be consumed.

Anonymous said...

I so fail at this. Always have.

Sad chow hound and gedunk scarfer, I be.

Any young Marines reading this, listen to America's SgtMaj and listen good.

If you've got this particular bit of fail at self discipline, get it under control and squared away now, or you're gonna regret it for the rest of your fat-assed life.