Monday, May 12, 2014

Heard In The Clear!

Stand by for another installment of real life human dialogue too good not to record for posterity.

Dream interpretation is the subject of a number of books and esoteric psychological black magic. Interpret the dreams of military members at your own peril:

"Apparently my dreams of being naked in public have been replaced with wearing an unauthorized uniform in public with a Staff NCO nearby."

"I still wake up about once a month in a blind terror because I can't feel my rifle anywhere around me. My wife says I frequently exclaim: 'Crap! I'm in so much trouble!'"

"The other night I had a dream I was chewing a Gunny's ass and woke myself up yelling."

The battle of the sexes rages on:

"Yesterday my wife mentioned she'd like to highlight her hair. I grabbed a Hi-Liter marker and told her to sit down. She did not find it as amusing as I did."

Her: "Remember that time you called me a gutter whore?"
Him: "I NEVER called you that! 'Gutter slut' maybe. It rolls off the tongue better."

Your philanthropy may be questioned:

"Look! They're having a walk to end homelessness." 
"Walking to work might be a good start."

Concerning social interaction:

"Peer pressure is one thing, beer pressure is quite another."

Tact - adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues:  

"I'm not here to call anyone's baby ugly, but some of you have some handsome monkey's."

Fun with TSA:

Agent-"General boarding?"
Me-"No, I'm a SgtMaj."

Carry on with the plan of the day!
America's SgtMaj

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Some of the Best
I've had two of those dreams

Jorgie

America's SgtMaj. said...

What are you doing in my dreams? Get out of my head!

Actually, only one of those quotes can be attributed to me. But like you, I've had one of the other dreams before too.